My Experience Fasting

Isaiah, Chapter 58: 3-7

I had read about and spoken with people who would fast as a spiritual exercise – a way to get closer to God. I do not consider myself to be a big eater, nor do I snack as much as some, so I did not decide to fast, for Lent, in order to fulfill the oft stated requirement ‘to give up something.’

For five Mondays, beginning at the conclusion of dinner on Sunday evening and until I arose on Tuesday morning, approximately 36 hours, I fasted. I had my morning coffee, water and a glass of juice in the late afternoon or evening.

I do not feel I made much spiritual headway; I’m ashamed to report that most of my talking with God was me whining about the exercise I had chosen to undertake. But I have learned some things about food and hunger and myself and my way of life.

While having explained that I don’t eat or snack much, for 36 hours, I was totally preoccupied with food. I wanted to eat; I prowled the kitchen; I repeatedly looked in the refrigerator. I even chose an earlier bedtime on Monday night so that Tuesday morning, and food, would seemingly arrive sooner. Ah ha! A character flaw, I knew I possessed was reinforced: I want what I want, when I want it. However, after a few Mondays, I made a shift, from sympathy to empathy for those who must begin each and every day without food. Whether it is a child in school, one seeking work, or a parent caring for a child, one’s ability to focus on the work of the day is superseded by the desire to eat.

I learned that I and, I believe most Americans will, blessedly, never know true, deep and lasting hunger – certainly not the bloated belly, emaciated frame-type of hunger those in third world countries experience each and every day. While 36 hours seemed like an eternity, my stomach never really got to the point of hungry. My mind was sending the message, “You want to eat,” and my controlling nature kept pushing God aside, except to ask for the selfish desire to have the compulsion to eat taken from me. Was it providential that on one Monday evening, I turned on PBS and the programming that evening was a very graphic documentary of the Russian Famine of the 1920s – a famine during which millions of men, women and children starved to death? While I was tempted so many times to change the channel, I continued to watch – and cry. I was crying for that terrible assault on humanity and for another “Ah ha!” Whether I like to acknowledge it or not, I take my way of life for granted.

By the 4^th and 5^th Mondays, I, while still craving food, did spend more time reflecting on the plight of others. I wondered whether their desire to eat was overpowered by the need to get food. And I found myself praying more for others than for my own selfish wants.

My exercise is over and I am happy to report that I did not cheat on my commitment. I am also grateful to report that, for today, I am more aware. I am aware that I am very fortunate and do pray that I not fall back into the complacency of plenty. I am aware of the fragility of our world food system and pray that our leaders look, listen and learn – and take action. I am aware that I have more to give to others than I currently give and will still have all that I need. I am aware that to fast when one’s cupboard is full is sacrifice, but to fast when one’s cupboard is bare is hunger. I thank God for these lessons.

~ Susan