John 8:2-11; Galatians 5:16-25;
Proverbs 31:25-31; Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5; 8:4
Some religious leaders, who were prepared to condemn to death a woman caught in adultery, sought to force Jesus to take a stand on their proposed action. Jesus wrote some words in the sand. We do not know what the words were, but they must have been strongly convicting because after he wrote, all he had to do was to say, “Let the one who is without sin cast the first stone.” The crowd cooled its jets and melted away. Then Jesus said to the woman, “Go and sin no more.” Point 1: Jesus would have no part in self-righteous judgmentalism, for his ministry and that of his followers was to invite people who had fallen short to live new lives covered by grace in the kingdom of God. Point 2: Jesus would have no part in anything-goes permissiveness, for he was calling people to live not only in the grace, but also in the righteousness of the kingdom of God. I suggest that this story gives us two goals for our dealings with young Christians: (1) build grace into their lives, and (2) build moral wisdom and virtue into their lives. For maturing disciples of Jesus Christ, grace and virtue belong inseparably together. As our Savior, he covers us with grace; as our Lord, he commands the development of virtue in our lives. If you try to have grace without virtue or virtue without grace, the result is no longer Christian.
But Jesus understood that a convincing experience of grace is where it all starts. Unless people were proud, arrogant, and self-righteous, Jesus did not begin by tearing them down. He began by building them up, creating hope, and then challenging them to live up to their potential in the kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:16-25 contrasts the works of the flesh—that is, of living outside the kingdom of God—versus the fruit of the Spirit—that is, of living inside the kingdom of God. Living outside the kingdom of God is characterized by self-centered living, living focused on what we can get for ourselves, what we can control, what we can experience. It is the kingdom of me. I want what I want, and I want it ASAP. Just a few of the possible symptoms of living in the kingdom of me are: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, and orgies. The list could go on and on. Some of the symptoms of living in the kingdom of me are more subtle, more socially acceptable, like putting too high a priority on being loved, admired, affirmed, but even that seemingly innocent false priority opens a door through which Satan can walk into our lives and wreak havoc.
Disciples of Jesus Christ, living not in the kingdom of me, but in the kingdom of God, focus on letting the Holy Spirit lead and direct their lives, building into them the qualities of Christlikeness, the fruit of the Spirit, the virtues: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.
Building moral wisdom and virtue into young Christians is a gradual process. It does not happen all at once. Much of it involves developing relationships with young Christians in which we can share insights that help them become more and more discerning about life.
Probably most parents of teenagers are strongly concerned about training their offspring to make good decisions in the area of marriage, love, sex, and romance. We live in a sex-obsessed culture. Sexual obsession and sexual repression seem to go in pendulum swings. In this country, the late 18th century, during and after the American Revolution, was a period with low church attendance, widespread alcoholism, and extremely high rates of children born out of wedlock. It was a period of sexual obsession.
But even in the most sexually repressed times, such as the Victorian era of the late 19th century, people in their late teens and early twenties were still vulnerable. If you will forgive one more reference to my family tree, I noticed in looking at the records that in the 1880’s a young Illinois farm girl gave birth to her first baby just four months after her marriage; her husband was a farm boy from down the road. The bulk of my physical features can be traced back to that farm girl, and she was the only one of my eight great-grandparents who was still alive during my young boyhood, hence, the only great-grandparent I knew, so this was a fairly personal discovery for me. Should I be sharing this kind of information in public? Not to worry, Matthew’s Gospel goes out of its way to point out that Tamar, Rahab, and Bathsheba were in Jesus’ family tree, all far more outrageous than my great-grandmother. Jesus works to redeem human failings; if we will let him, he will cover us with grace, but he will call those he covers with grace into a life of virtue. Let me repeat, that is what it means that he is both our Savior and our Lord.
LoAna and Laura Beth sang the worship chorus, “You Are My King (Amazing Love).” The message of the song is that, because of the costly, amazing, loving grace of our King, it is our highest purpose and privilege to do all that we do in honor of Him, and so we seek to live obedient lives conforming ever more to his likeness. He is our Savior and our Lord, our source of grace and virtue.
The Bible is filled with wisdom that builds virtue. It is our best textbook for teaching young Christians how to live God-honoring lives. We need to be careful though not to interpret the Bible’s wisdom simply to serve our kingdom of me values, but to interpret it in light of kingdom of God values. Here are the basic hooks on which all our interpretations of the Bible’s wisdom should hang:
1. God created human beings in his image to represent his nature and purposes.
2. Both the Old Testament covenant community (first Israel and then Judaism and the New Testament covenant community (the church) were formed by the grace of God to be a kingdom of priests and a holy people, serving as go-betweens between God and the world, showing the world what God is like.
3. The primary characteristic of God is his steadfast covenant love. God is our kinsman redeemer, sacrificially doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves to keep us in covenant relationship with him.
4. The human marriage covenant is designed to be the most basic human institution in which we show what God’s steadfast covenant love and faithfulness are like in the way we give of ourselves for the well-being of our spouses and offspring. We cannot do that until we have a mature and seasoned wisdom.
The wisdom we offer about marriage, love, sex, and romance should serve those purposes of God.
Young men and women, here’s a clue to keep in mind as you seek your life’s partner: if the person for whom you are experiencing strong feelings is willing to deceive his, her, or especially your parents in order to do something forbidden with you, it is highly likely that down the road, this person will be deceiving you in order to do something forbidden with someone else. A passion-driven person is usually a character-challenged person, and deception is a key symptom of being character-challenged. Impressive promises may flow easily from the lips of such a person and may appear to be heart-felt, but they will be quickly forgotten when something new is also heartfelt. This is heartbreak waiting to happen.
Here is another clue: if the teenager to whom you are attracted is quite confident that he or she is ready for adult commitments, it is a pretty strong indication that the person still has a lot of growing up to do, that the person has not done much reflecting on what it really takes to live out genuinely self-giving love for the well-being of another person. Faithfully keeping commitments is hard work, and even the best immature character is not up to the task.
Can you stand one more clue? A person who is really good at manipulating people into doing things his or her way is not to be trusted ever to care much about your real needs. If the person is smooth at persuasion, but not reliable at follow-through, watch out. There are a lot of romantics who can sweep you off your feet by telling you, perhaps sincerely at the moment, how deeply they love you, but who do not have staying power. The person may be good at the grand romantic gesture, but not often at the hard stuff that counts in daily life.
The wisdom literature of the Bible has some important advice about selecting a marriage partner. The Book of Proverbs spends much of its pages helping young men develop moral character and discernment. It warns young men against being drawn toward flattering, seductive women who can ruin their lives. It describes the kind of woman a young man should seek. The description of the desirable wife may sound a bit like superwoman who can do it all, and that is not realistic—not to mention being intimidating to young women--but as a strategy for reorienting young man’s fancies, which is its purpose, it is a good strategy. The good wife is not a weak and ornamental woman centered on her own pleasure, she is not telling you how she needs a big, strong reliable man like you to make it through life, but she is a strong and good woman, disciplined and goal-oriented, with deep faith, high goals, and practical skills. Because she is prepared for life, the text concludes:
Proverbs 31: 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. 26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears (or reveres) the Lord is to be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the (city) gates.
Young men, that portrayal of the desirable wife is wisdom worth holding onto. Look for a woman of strong character, godly character…and your life will be better. Young women, do the same. Look for a man of strong and godly character.
The Song of Solomon—or the Song of Songs, as it is perhaps preferably titled—is best known for its depictions of sexual attraction and love.
Southern Baptist scholar Duane Garrett think that it also has some important wisdom to impart. As he helps us decipher the text, some passages are designed to caution young men that initial sexual experience is an emotionally traumatic event for young women and needs to be carried out in the best and most supportive circumstances within the protective boundaries of a marriage covenant.
Further, the young woman in the poem warns her still single young women companions three times, in chapters 2, 3, and 8, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.” What does that mean? Garrett suggests that she is warning her companions that they are not to stir up their passions until the proper time, circumstances, and person arrive. Premature passion can only make a person miserable and may lead to mistakes that will plague them for the rest of their lives.
For those with eyes prepared to see, the Bible is filled with wisdom that can help us lead better lives as disciples of Jesus Christ.
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