Dealing with Judgmentalism and Naïveté

Matthew 7:1-5, 15-20

7:1 “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. 3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye…. 7:15 “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. 16 You will recognize them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? 17 So, every healthy tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. 18 A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. 19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 Thus you will recognize them by their fruits.

According to Jesus, we disciples are to be neither judgmental nor naïve. To put that in positive terms, we are to be both merciful and discerning. That sounds like a challenging balance to maintain. If we are walking a tightrope, it is no better to fall off on one side than on the other. If we fall off on the right side, it is to little purpose if we shout on the way down, “At least I didn’t fall off on the left side.” One disciple may say, “I may have been judgmental, but at least I wasn’t naïve.” Another disciple may say, “I may have failed to be discerning, but at least I was merciful.” But it avails nothing. Jesus wants both. He wants us not to fall off at all…on either side. We are to be discerning and merciful, merciful and discerning. As we strive for the right balance, there are three key terms in Jesus’ teaching that demand our attention.

Term 1. Judge: Jesus says, “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged.” As Jesus uses the term, judging is making a negative assessment of another person’s ultimate worth and eternal destiny based on his or her present faults while giving no attention to one’s own faults. Jesus warns that this approach will catch up with us. God will judge us with the standards that we have applied to others.

When we judge, we are usurping the role of God, but God is still present, God sees, God remembers, and God has not resigned his position. We will one day stand before him and be judged. Guess what standard he will use for us! This reality calls us to approach our lives and relationships with a certain humility, compassion, mercy, and spiritual honesty.

As we have worked our way through the Sermon on the Mount, we have taken spiritual inventory. How are we processing the anger in our lives? How are we approaching our sexual or romantic lives? How much do we live our lives with genuine integrity? How are we doing with dedicating our material resources to serving the kingdom of God? How are we measuring up to the standard of godly perfection? Anyone who comes through this inventory without having plenty of personal work to do just is not paying much attention.

We all have at least a latent desire to fix the whole world, to set things right, to play God. Jesus is telling us to start with ourselves. When our understanding of our own inner spiritual dynamics has been put to the test by tackling our own sins, then we might actually turn out to be of help to someone else, if they invite our help. And they might invite us to help if they see that we are not judging them.

Term 2. Hypocrite: “You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.” As Jesus uses the term, a hypocrite is an actor playing a role, more concerned about appearances, impressions, and reputations than about reality.

If we are obsessed with how we are coming across, it is hard for us to learn anything. When our daughter was a pre-schooler, I tried to help her friend, whom we will call Samantha, learn to read. Samantha was a performer, an actress, completely obsessed with how she was coming across, what response she was getting from her audience. She was bright enough; she could memorize her lines, but, as far as she was concerned, her lines had no relationship to the words on a page. I was not able to teach her anything. As she matured, she eventually learned to read, but I assume that came only as she learned to get her attention off how she was coming across long enough to take in what was on the page. I am not saying that Samantha was a hypocrite; I am just pointing out that her focus on how she was coming across interfered with her learning. The point of comparison follows.

As it is with learning to read, so it is with our moral and spiritual development. We make progress only when we get our attention off how we are coming across so that we can really grapple with putting together the foundational pieces of godly living.

If we go through life focused on our own reputations, it is not likely that we will have very satisfactory relationships. If we expect our spouse, our children, our neighbors, our friends, our church, to constantly enhance our reputations, chances are that not a few of them will resent it and will resist our expectations. Children seem especially resistant on this score. They come equipped with excellent hypocrisy detectors, and they soon catch on if we are more concerned about what others think of our parenting than we are about how they are actually thriving.

Sometimes, the generational rebellion against hypocrisy can go the opposite direction. My great grandparents were students of scripture, faithful church members, Sunday school teachers, and good neighbors. As they aged, they took in my great grandfather’s bachelor nephew, twenty years younger, to help them run their farm. It was a good and happy relationship. When my great-grandfather died, there was not a good alternative for either survivor but to keep the arrangement in place. As my great grandmother had never learned to drive, her deceased husband’s nephew became her driver. My great grandmother’s daughter-in-law, I’ll call her Aunt Hazel, was much concerned about appearances. I do not know if it had occurred to her that the sooner she could get the nephew out of the house, the sooner she, her husband, and family might get into the house, but that was a possible additional motive. She went to my great grandmother and told her that her living arrangement was a great scandal to the whole neighborhood and must be stopped. My great grandmother thought about it for a time, and then announced to the family that, as she and her deceased husband’s nephew did not want to be a scandal, they had obtained a marriage license. So far as I know, all the family and neighbors, and church members, except for Aunt Hazel, were delighted, and for some of them the delight was slightly heightened by Aunt Hazel’s sputtering humiliation. Perhaps some of them too had been victims of her concern for appearances. Hypocrisy does not usually work out well in the end. It is best to root it out early on.

Term 3. Recognize: “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits.” As Jesus uses the term, to recognize is to see who person really is. While we are not to judge, we are to recognize, to discern. Jesus said that we will recognize truly godly people by the fruits of their living, not by appearances and reputations, but by real productivity. Godly people, people of spiritual depth and maturity, people of compassion and mercy, people of wisdom and discernment, will leave a trail of good fruit in their tracks.

Let’s take my grandmother as an example. Like her mother, she was a godly church woman and Sunday school teacher, but she added touches of good-humored, broad-minded compassion and skill in human relations that were extraordinarily fruitful. She spent much of her adult life living with her husband in a tiny, one bedroom telephone office where they not only raised my mother, but also by turns a couple of nieces, the extra bed being a fold-down by the switchboard. She was in many ways, the human center of her small town of Bluff City, Kansas. She would talk easily with anyone, rich or poor, respectable or scandalous, sober or drunk, and treat them all the same. Two generations of young people saw her as the embodiment of acceptance, wisdom, and guidance. When she was terminally ill, and in such pain that she could not sleep, she sat up at night writing letters of encouragement to young people that she knew to be going through hard times. When she died, the funeral home in Anthony, Kansas, had to set up speakers outside so that those who wished to attend the service but could not get in, could at least hear it. She never had any significant money, never cared a whit about appearances, but she was one of the most fruitful people I ever knew.

Acceptance, mercy, and compassion are good, godly qualities, but Jesus also wanted his disciples to be careful about who they selected as spiritual leaders, guides, and models. He warned them against leaders whose spiritual lives were not fruitful. We are not to judge people for their faults. We are to be merciful and compassionate to people who have fallen short of Christian standards. But we also are to be careful about who we select as our spiritual leaders.

At First Christian Church, we welcome into our fellowship everyone who wants to learn about Jesus and about following him. We welcome into our membership everyone who professes Jesus as the Christ, the Son of the Living God, Lord and Savior of the world, who has been baptized into union with him, and who wishes to be part of our fellowship and mission. But Jesus wants us to be careful, discerning, recognizing, about selecting our leaders because he loves us and does not want us to be led in the wrong direction.

In this passage, Jesus is warning against false prophets, who disguise themselves as good sheep, but are really destructive wolves. But his warnings apply to other leaders besides prophets: evangelists, preachers, pastors, elders, Sunday school teachers, and so forth. No leaders are perfect or without fault, but we want our leaders to be established on the solid foundation of sacred scripture, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. We do not want leaders who teach false doctrine. We want our leaders to be subject to the moral teachings of the New Testament, and if they fail, to be duly repentant. We do not want leaders who break New Testament moral rules and remain unrepentant. We want our leaders to be moving in the right direction, growing in all of the 9 ways. We do not want leaders who are complacent about their walk with Christ. We want our leaders to be developing discernment about the difference between essentials and nonessentials, about what is clear from scripture and what is debatable, about when we must be united and when we can allow diversity. We do not want leaders who ride off on their speculative theological hobby horses in ways that are divisive of genuine believers. We want our leaders to learn how to hold important lines without being unnecessarily offensive. We do not want them unnecessarily driving people whose faith or morality does not yet measure up out of hearing range of the gospel. We want our leaders to understand the priority of expressing the redeeming love of God in effective ways to lost and broken people. We do not want leaders who do not care about broken people. We want our leaders to be humbly merciful and compassionate

Now, none of us will perfectly measure up to what we want in our leaders. All of us are unworthy. All of us require grace and mercy. All of us are on a journey, but a spiritual leader should at least know our need for help, should know the direction of the journey, and should be willing to learn, learn, and learn some more. With that kind of leader, Jesus can work with extraordinary patience and great results.

Dealing with Lust

Sermon 4 in the series based on Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount: “The Greatest Sermon Ever Preached: A Spiritual Overhaul by the Master.”

The first sermon, “A Change in Goals,” focused on the Beatitudes; we talked about knowing our need for God and about seeking God’s ways above all else. The second sermon, “A Change in Standards,” focused on the standard for Christian life, not a set of rules, but representing the perfect character of God. We all fall short, but we cannot settle for any lesser standard and claim to have arrived. We need the help of Jesus and the Holy Spirit. The third sermon dealt with rage.

Today’s sermon text is loaded with difficulties that must be cleared up if we are to see the big point. We will treat the difficulties one by one. Let’s start by reading the text.

Matthew 5: 27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Problem Passage Number 1: “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Define lust: Lust, as Jesus defines it, is stronger than merely noticing an attraction to another person. It is intentionally entertaining the thought or fantasy of an extramarital relationship to the point that, if it were not for factors that make it frightening or impossible, one would carry out the relationship. Lust need not be focused on sexual intercourse, but may be focused on romance. Looking at pornographic images can be lust. So can reading romance novels or watching soap operas in certain ways. Lust is developing an attitude of the heart, an intention, to use another person to make us feel attractive, powerful, desirable, and so forth. If this attitude becomes habitual, it sets us up for failure in a committed marital relationship. It is adultery in the heart.

Correcting a lie from Satan: I have heard people say seriously, “I have already committed adultery in the heart, and, since one sin is as bad as another, I might as well carry out the actual adultery.” That is nonsense. King David could have merely repented of lusting in his heart for Bathsheba, but, although he eventually repented quite seriously of his physical adultery with her, nothing could undo the great harm that he set off for his family, his kingship, and his country by that act. The rule is, “Stop sin at the earliest stage possible.” Jesus is not saying that a sin in the heart is as destructive as a sin carried out. Rather, he is warning us to deal with the sin when it is still in the heart and before it becomes a dangerous storm.

Problem Passage Number 2: “For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell.”

Difficulty: When Jesus is talking about getting rid of body parts that cause us to sin, some people take him literally, and that is a serious problem, but he is speaking figuratively. Jesus knows that body parts do not cause us to sin. He is not advising us to maim our bodies.

Solution: Jesus teaches that all sins are caused by thoughts and desires in the heart. His literal point is that we must get rid of the causes of our sin, the wrong thoughts and attitudes and desires. We must replace wrong thoughts with right thoughts. Right thoughts include focusing on seeking God’s best for all God’s children, and not deceiving ourselves that God’s best for another person includes his or her having a premature or an adulterous sexual or romantic relationship with us. That deception comes straight from Satan. Honestly thinking of others as children of God ends that deception.

Problem Passage Number 3: Everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Difficulty A. When Mark reports Jesus’ teaching about divorce, he gives no exception clause. Mark’s report emphasizes that God did not create marriage to end in divorce and that divorce is never God’s will. When Matthew twice reports Jesus’ teaching about divorce, he gives an exception clause. The Greek word he uses for what would justify instituting divorce proceedings is porneia; it is the root of the English words fornication and pornography. It is generally translated by a term such as sexual immorality. Certain churches get legalistic with this, forcing divorced people who wish to remarry to prove that they had grounds if they wish to remain members in full communion. But legalism is not Jesus’ intent in the Sermon on the Mount.

Solution A. Many scholars say that point is that one should not institute legal divorce proceedings unless the spouse has already irretrievably broken covenant. This could include, as Paul suggests, abandonment. Many believe that it could also include abuse and that the abuse could be of the children as well as of the spouse. We do not know the precise legal boundaries of the term, but it was not Jesus’ purpose to give us a new legalism. It was his point to discourage us from causing a break in a marriage relationship. Most scholars agree that the exception clause does not require divorce every time there are grounds; nothing in the exception clause overrides the command for us to offer forgiveness without limit, to always pray the best even for a wayward and abusive spouse, and to seek any reconciliation that may be made on solid grounds of effective repentance and inner healing. The following are reasons that do not justify divorce: I no longer love my spouse. This marriage is just too difficult. I would be much happier with a different spouse. I am really angry with my spouse. My spouse is really angry with me. All these situations can and should be addressed with prayerful creativity and persistence, not with giving up. Divorce should be reserved for situations in which there is no remedy for a fractured marriage covenant. Divorce is not God’s will for marriage and should not be considered if there is any safe alternative. At its best, it is merely a divine concession to human hardness of heart. God has made that concession because it is sometimes necessary. It is not necessary even a small fraction of the times it is practiced. Jesus’ point is to strongly challenge us not to resort to divorce unless it really is the last resort.

Difficulty B. Jesus said that whoever divorces a woman without proper grounds makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Solution B. Most scholars agree that a divorce based on proper grounds gives permission to marry again. Few divorced women in Jesus’ time could afford not to remarry. Jesus was saying that, if a man divorces his wife without proper grounds, he leaves her little alternative but to marry again even though she should not have been divorced in the first place, and her second marriage should not have been possible. Most scholars also agree that the second man who commits adultery by marrying a divorced woman is marrying an improperly divorced woman. The primary fault for the adultery of the woman and the second man is laid back on the first man who improperly divorced his wife.

Difficulty C. What do we do with the fact that so many Christians have been through improper divorces and remarriages?

Solution C. If there has been proper confession of sin, repentance, and commitment to God’s will, the past is past. Jesus made the woman at the Samaritan well his first evangelist to the Samaritans even though she had been married five times and had been living with a man to whom she was not married. We must assume that, when she came to believe in Jesus, she found the motivation and power to straighten out her life from that point forward. But we can never go back and amend all the costs of past sin. If we have divorced and remarried improperly, we cannot make a first divorce less sinful by going through a second divorce. We can only start from where we are, covered by the grace and righteousness of God, and seek to live out God’s will as fully as possible today and tomorrow.

Main point: What Jesus wants from us is whole-hearted devotion to representing the character and reign of God. God is a covenant-keeper. Those who represent him must be covenant keepers.

Sub-point: When we are face-to-face with God’s righteousness, we all fall short. There is no room for self-righteousness or judgmentalism. Probably none of us scores 100% on the purity test, and our attempts to justify ourselves look pretty feeble and hypocritical to anyone who has much understanding of human nature.

Finding the help we need in overcoming compulsive tendencies toward sexual misbehavior. All sin, including sexual sin, is rooted in a faith problem. When we do not trust that God will carry us by means of his will and his ways to the very best outcome, we try to take moral shortcuts to what appear to us to be immediate satisfactions. The most basic thing we need to believe is that God is good and trustworthy, holy and loving, righteous and powerful, gracious and merciful…that God wants the best for us and can deliver it if we will only trust and obey.

We sang about it at the beginning of our service, in the second verse of “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty”: “Hast thou not seen how thy desires e’er have been granted in what he ordaineth?” What that is saying is, “It may take a while to see, but what God wills turns out to be best for our long-term satisfaction.”

If we trust God, we need to listen to his guidance through scripture and the Holy Spirit. We sang about that too. The hymn, “Speak, O Lord” is about our being transformed into the image and glory of God as we receive the guidance he speaks to us. The second verse has these words: “Test our thoughts and our attitudes in the radiance of Your purity. Cause our faith to rise; cause our eyes to see Your majestic love and authority.” That should be happening not only in our weekly worship, but in our daily prayer and study—and in small groups aimed at spiritual growth.

In a bit we will be singing, “Jesus! What a Friend for Sinners.” Each verse shows us something about how Jesus helps us break free from sin. The hymn affirms that Jesus makes us whole, that Jesus helps us win the victory over temptation, that Jesus comforts our souls in sorrow, that Jesus pilots us through the storms of life, and that we can find more than All in Jesus. There is nothing like a living relationship with Jesus to keep us from wrong relationships with our fellow human beings.

Studies have shown that people are most vulnerable to temptation when they feel tired, stressed, overworked, lonely, misunderstood, frustrated, and so forth. They begin to focus on carving out a little hidden corner for some sort of forbidden satisfaction that actually ends up pushing them farther into dissatisfaction and shame, the set-up for what might become a destructive, addictive pattern. For example, the vast majority of clergy moral failure fits this pattern.

The best medicine is personal, restful time spent with God. Yes, we need sleep, exercise, recreation, and play, but people who spend lots of time in front of the tube, on the Internet, napping, out on the lake, etc., are still subject to temptation. There is no substitute for spending quality time with God becoming acquainted with his good and perfect plans for our lives and committing ourselves to trust his provision.

Finally, a word for young people who can start fresh: you were created to be a child of God and a servant of God. You were created to represent God’s nature and purposes to the world. Find your primary satisfaction in that calling. Make sure that any marriage covenant you form strengthens you as a child and servant of God. I know that romantic relationships can be very exciting, but let them form naturally and slowly around who you are as a child of God. Be patient and discerning, watchful and cautious. If you are destined for marriage and family, trust that God will provide the right relationship at the right time. Pushing ahead too fast, and fixating too soon on that guy or girl who makes you feel so attractive and important, can lead to a life of pain and disappointment. God has better for you than that if you will trust him.